5 Mistakes

We all make mistakes. But both parents and children become paralyzed with fear that they will make the same mistake twice. They pile themselves with guilt over their inability to get the simplest of things right.

This can happen with parenting issues and just everyday living for kids. We are all negotiating new skills and projects, new challenges and crisis. The fear of getting it wrong makes it worse.

A local college sent a group of young people and their professor to Rwanda to assist area pastors in reaching out to the poor and needy in their community. Faced with language and cultural barriers they experienced real trepidation. They decided right away to implement a version of Nike’s ‘Just Do It’.

Since they were going to make mistakes anyway, they decided to plan on at least five mistakes a day. That took the stress off the group and they were able to jump into challenging situations with the knowledge that they had a ‘quota’ of mistakes to fill!

This concept of allowing for five mistakes has been freeing for me. And I’m working to apply it to my parenting. Encouraging my adult children to make room for mistakes curbs my own expectations for them as well as their expectations for themselves. We feel a greater freedom to jump in and try things, rather than slowly trying to get everything ‘just right’.

Will you try to allow for making mistakes in your parenting? Join in with a StandUp Parenting parent group, face-to-face or online, to get the support you need to make these freeing changes in your life!

via Blogger http://standupparent.blogspot.com/2013/03/5-mistakes.html

A New Drug in Town, Part 2 Or Zombies, Zombies Everywhere

We blogged about Bath Salts two years ago in April of 2010 – then the new kid in town, drug-wise. Now it’s resurging in an alarming way. No, it’s not turning people into zombies (contrary to initial reports), maybe just cannibals.

To begin with, the drug marketed as Bath Salts has hung around in spite of a September 2011 Drug Enforcement Administration emergency order to ban or restrict these stimulants already off limits in at least 37 states. An internet search on bath salts will turn up increasing incidents of out-of-control people high on these drugs.

The famous ‘heads up’ came at the end of May 2012, when a naked Miami man chewed off the face of another man, continuing his attack even after being shot by police. Described as a ‘zombie attacker’, he was thought to be under the influence of bath salts – a synthetic marijuana. Later it was found that he had ‘just’ used regular marijuana.

In early July at the Atlanta Golf Center, a man wearing only underwear, came out of the woods and began to scream about ‘religion, Tupac Shakur and cannibalism’. It took four Taser hits to stop and arrest him. Bath salts were the culprit in this case. Police around the country have observed that bath salts can kill pain for several hours and make a person delusional.

Soon after this incident President Barack Obama signed a bill that banned the sale, production and possession of some chemicals used for making many types of synthetic drugs, and the DEA has temporarily banned some chemicals found in synthetic marijuana.

Then on Wednesday, July 25, 2012 Operation Log Jam, a joint effort between the Drug Enforcement Administration and federal and local agencies, was conducted in more than 90 cities spanning 30 states. Seized were $36 million in cash and more than 4.8 million packets of synthetic cannabinoids along with synthetic amphetamines that mimic the affects of marijuana and meth.
As parents we can be thankful for this crackdown. According to DEA Administrator Michele Leonhart these drugs have been deceptively marketed to young people as bath salts, K-2 and Vanilla Sky. In spite of disclaimers on the packaging stating ‘not for human consumption’ most young people knows what these products are used for. The results of use are varied, but include hallucinations, aggressiveness, attempted suicides and murder as well as a twenty-fold increase in calls to poison control.

Let’s keep aware of what’s ‘out there’ so that we can advocate for our kids. Are you worried that your teen or young adult is abusing these or other drugs? Come to a StandUp Parenting group near you for ideas and support.

Sources: Internet news, especially Louis Casiano, NBC News

Pursuing the High School Diploma

School has just ended here in the Northwest, but school’s not out for many parents.  Especially the parents of high school kids who just aren’t making the grade.  They’re busy attending meetings to figure out what possible steps can be taken to help their struggling kids succeed.

Will summer school help? Night school? Maybe that new alternative program.

A local newspaper, The Oregonian, recently ran a three part series on why our teens weren’t graduating from high school in the typical four years – in fact many drop out.  The numbers weren’t what I found interesting, it was the techniques that local schools are using to enable teens facing challenges to stay in their home high schools, succeed and graduate on time.

What is working:
  • Having a weekly meeting of staff (about a dozen) who track and discuss the group of students at their school who are having problems, skipping school and are in danger of dropping out – or getting kicked out.
  • Tracking these student’s attendance on a daily basis.  Personally calling the home of a student who is absent.  Making sure they get the support and services they need.
  • Screen all freshmen to ensure they can read on a high school level.  Provide a class or tutoring to bring those who are struggling up to speed.
  • Work to keep these kids in their home/neighborhood school, rather than automatically sending them to alternative schools.
  • Give students who have missed class work the opportunity to do make-up work in a flexible and timely fashion.
The Hillsboro, Oregon school system has used these methods with great success.  Would these methods work in your school?  Is your child’s high school using one or more of these methods?  Would you be willing to ask your high school to look into implementing these techniques when you consider your child’s options for the fall?

Get help and support from your StandUp Parenting group as you work towards a positive future for your child’s education.

http://schools.oregonlive.com/dropouts

Next blog post: When Traditional Schools Just Don’t Work