If you’ve ever flown on a commercial airline, the flight protocol and emergency proceedures are surely stuck in your brain. Seatbelts on. Tray in the upright position. Lightstrips running the floor of the cabin. Your seat can be used as a flotation device. And those oxygen masks: they’ll drop down automatically, you place yours over you nose and mouth and secure the elastic, then you help your neighbor or child secure their mask’s.
Take care of yourself first!
You can’t help someone else if you are struggling for air – you’ll both end up passing out. If we are exhausted and our resources drained, we are in no position to be effective helpers for our friends or family.
Parents who are newly arrived in our StandUp Parenting support groups are often exhausted shadows of their original selves. They have been in crisis mode for days, weeks and, sometimes, years.
Is this you?
Have you worked hard to get your kids good nutrition, counseling and education? Have you struggled to make sure they have their health needs met, are up to date on their inocculations and get enough sleep?
Can you say the same for yourself?
You’ve been through a harrowing time – have you gotten counseling, just for you? When was the last time you saw a doctor? Are you up to date on your routine screenings – mammogram or prostate? Are you getting exercise? Balanced and regular meals?
Remember – when you take care of yourself you are modeling good self-care to your children. You are also telling them that you value yourself.
Do these things seem hard to do? You are exhausted, after all. Consider joining a StandUp parent support group. Not only will you get ideas to deal with your family problems, you will also find ideas and support to take care of yourself. You’re worth it!

You’re ready to make changes in your life and family – how do you go about this? How do you get success – this time?
Support is the answer. As usual, I’ll recommend a StandUp Parenting support group – it has sure worked for me over the years. But also, identify those people in your life that will back up the considered choices you are making. A relative, friend, teacher, or grocery checker. At church, the gym or your coffee shop – it doesn’t matter. Be on the lookout for those who share your heartache and frustrations and will build you up – not tear you down.
Then compile your phone list. If you’re part of a parent support group, you’ll be given one. And call. When you’ve just blown your goal, call a like minded friend. When you don’t know what to do next call again. Drop by the gym, coffee shop or store and look up your support folks. Listen to them and give back, as well.
The flip side of support, though, are the nay-sayers. Those who think you’re making bad decisions, you’re being mean or can’t/shouldn’t change. Learn to disengage with these folks over your parenting issues. Change the subject, when possible. Listen, but stay neutral. If they insist on verbally pounding you, consider how you might minimize contact. Not always possible, but do what you can to protect yourself.
Get support for change and growth. You can do it!

Please check out our new Books We Love section on the sidebar – we’ll add our favorites as we go. Parenting Teens With Love and Logic is a hands down winner. It falls under the category of ‘modern wisdom’. At our StandUp Parenting parent support groups we make use of a wide array of information. Some of it is cutting edge, but some is ancient. The amazing thing is how it all dovetails and blends together.
Today’s quote is a bit of older, though not ancient, wisdom:
“Talk low, talk slow and don’t say too much.”
John Wayne
Those who have acting out kids of any age are aware of their ability to get us engaged – in arguments, in attempts to help/solve/suggest/advise them in their daily trauma dramas. As the book of Job says, ‘The speech of a despairing man is wind.” (Job 6:26) It’s mostly the hot air of venting. And, it will blow over. That is, if we shut our own mouths.
Enter Parenting Teens With Love and Logic – there you will find great recommendations for keeping your speach to a minimum. Better yet, log on to the StandUp Parenting website (use the link to the right), find a parent support group in your area, and get some help putting ‘low and slow’ into practice!